^ Ha! Got that song stuck in my head now. Well, we're back in Dallas for clinic. And I've had a few more short episodes of rapid heart rate. I'm seeing the cardiologist tomorrow. So hopefully I'll have some answers or ideas to what's wrong AND have a plan to fix it. Sigh. So nervous.
When it comes to my heart... I'm so scared. When my heart is racing, I feel so awful. Being scared it could start up again any time, anywhere, is frustrating. The heart just seems so fragile. I don't want anything wrong with it anymore... I want it fixed!
(Throat specialist office)
Also, I saw the throat specialist today. Next month I have scheduled a nerve test on my vocal chords. Yay (sarcasim). Wait til you hear this. The nerve test involves being awake, having a needle stuck in my throat, and making throat noises. :D Sounds fun, riiight? Maybe it'll become my regular Saturday night thing (sarcasm again)! :/The doc smiled and told me, "It hurts. I wont lie. I had it done on myself once just to see how it feels..." That's.... sweet or weird? ;) He told me, "It hurts, aches, and lasts... ten minutes." :( Ah! Scary. That seems like forever to have a needle sticking in your throat!
He also thinks, depending on the results of the test, that down the road I might need a reconstructive nerve operation on my vocal chords ... to close the gap I have in between the chords and to bring my voice back. Sigh. I was thinking... maybe I don't mind having a hoarse voice for the rest of my life. :D But he also fears aspiration if we don't fix it. Fiiine. At least I'll be sleep during the operation.
Anyway, enough of my complaining. I guess I'm just getting out all my thoughts in this post. I know it'll be ok... I hope. :D I may be scared and it may be hard to see past this bump in the road, but we'll get over it. Somehow. I know there are people in more frustrating situations than I am. The first six months to a year post transplant will have those tough days and mountains to climb. But I am stressed and nervous... Prayers appreciated that I get through this one.
Anyway, that is my update. No more health problems, please, Lord...forever! Too much to ask? ;)
Much love,
~ Julie Jean
No comments:
Post a Comment