November 5th...

"Do you know what tomorrow is? Two years since you got sick..." - Joe

        Two years ago today I almost passed away.  Even though my health before then wasn't great and I'd been on continuous supplemental oxygen for the previous two and a half years...  That was the day my life truly came tumbling down and our journey to health began.  I woke up feeling loopy and out of it.  I couldn't hardly breathe.  I was rushed to the ER with oxygen levels in the 50's.  I was intubated and put on a ventilator.  Almost our entire family (both my husband's and mine) showed up at the ER waiting room to sit with my husband and wait for news.  My husband fell into his mother's arms praying I wouldn't die.  I was practically incoherent, but I remember at one point asking, "Am I going to die?"

        I can't remember much from that day, honestly.  I was so oxygen deprived, I kept blacking out, and some of my memories are simply gone.  But I do remember being afraid.  I wasn't quite sure what was going on.  I felt so strange.  I remember moments, figures, but that's about it.  I didn't have any strength or control over my body.  I don't remember being awake, I don't remember falling asleep.  I remember only flashes of images from the following days, then the next thing I knew I was waking up in Kansas City eleven days later.
        I want to take this moment and say thank you.  Thank you to everyone who showed up at the ER that night.  Thank you to everyone who helped out in one way or another during those times of fear and trial.  Thank you for the support.  Thank you for the prayers.  We really needed it, we got it, and we are grateful.
        I have been inspired by our journey.  I have come to the decision to write a book about my experiences.  It will be my personal medical memoir.  I definitely need prayers while I write these last few years down on paper.  It will be difficult and it will take time.  Opening up those memories will take a lot of courage - especially remembering the passing of my brother, Raphael.  But I feel it is something I need to do.
        Please pray for me as I walk down memory lane.  I know I am only me... but I hope in some way to be able to help someone going through a similar situation.  I want to give courage and comfort.  I want to help CF people realize there is hope.  Dreams really can come true.  I am living a healthy life that I never thought possible.  And I know I am lucky.  Each day I thank God I am alive.  Each day I pray my health only continues to get better.  I work hard, I pray hard.
        On this second year anniversary from that day, I want to say an extra "I love you," to my husband Joe.  He is my rock and my best friend.  Without him, without his strength, I don't know if I could have made it.  Thank you for always being there for me, dearest.  I truly appreciate it.
        Dream a little dream, people... then let your heart soar.

Much love.
~Julia Jean