Here we go...

"On the road again..."

        Well, we're on our way back home from Dallas. In all, it was a good clinic visit. Nothing immediately wrong or that is going to hurt me.
        So I did see the cardiologist. And, well, I'm getting a heart ablation next month.  Yay (sarcasm). That means I'm going to get an operation on my heart to burn off the bad cylinder that's causing it to freak out so much.
        They said it's an overnight operation and it's low risk for me because I'm young. So that's good, but still scary.  There are risks... like accidentally burning something wrong or it being too near to the normal stuff, that they want to keep, that it damages those.  If something like that happens, I think she said they'd have to put in a pacemaker...? Ugh.
        I also may have to be intubated again. That's where they put a tube down your throat for the operation. So that will probably mean (I'm thinking) it will cause more damage to my vocal chords. Nobody told me that was a probability, but it's just my mind worrying. It was damaged last time I was intubated. Oh I hope I don't lose my ability to eat or talk!! <-- more overreacting. ;)
        And to make things worse I may have to be awake through some of the operation. You see, they have to trigger the heart to start racing to find exactly where the problem is to burn it off. And I guess sometimes if you're asleep it won't work. I told them, "The thought of being awake during that freaks me out." So they said they could try it first with me asleep the whole time. Hoping it works! Because I do NOT want to be awake when they stick a wire up my artery to trigger my heart to race!! Just the thought will probably trigger it!
        And after allll that I will still need to get the throat nerve test and operation too. Good grief.
         Sigh. Not too thrilled right now. I'm so stressed and really need prayers for courage and peace. I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle...but, wow, God, You give me a lot sometimes it feels like. I need a break. ;)  Maybe after all the operations are over all the scary stuff will finally be over...? I hope so.  I shouldn't complain. I've been blessed thus far.
        For now they have me on heart meds to hold me over until the operation. And the doctor did tell me, "No matter how scary it seems when your heart races, it's not going to kill you." Ha! That's a plus. I'll try to remember that.
        Anyway, thanks for letting me vent...not that you had a choice. Hehe ;)
        "Everything will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end." :)

Much love,
~ Julie Jean