So we turned around and went back home. It was sooo frustrating! My heart rate has been in the 80's and 90's after that, so far today. That's still fast, but I'm not too worried about it. I'm sure it'll take a day, or after my second dose of my heart med, for it to calm down. It does make me feel shaky though... Don't like it! Going up half a dose at night on the med, btw. Hope it helps.
Anyway, yes, the ablation scares me like crazy... but I don't want to have to deal with this anymore. I'm tired of rushing to the ER, being freaked out, feeling crappy, shaky, and anxious...and almost passing out, feeling dizzy and light headed. I just want the operation done and over with. So I won't have to deal with this anymore.
I'm in the midst of trying to schedule my ablation, clinic visit, and nerve test. It's been hectic...but I should have it all figured out by tomorrow. Hopefully. It will probably end up being sometime next month. The sooner the better. However the cardiologist's PA emailed with me today and said, "I understand you wanting to get this done soon, but the doctors want to be sure you're 'in a good place' and have healed enough post transplant first." Makes sense, but I still wish it was tomorrow. ;)
I do hope it's as routine as they make it sound. I've talked with a lady who got an ablation years ago and she remembers it being pretty simple... and hasn't had an episode since!! That does make me feel better :)
Oh I'm tired of "issues." I want it to be August so all my operations will just be over! Maybe then things will really go to normal...?
Other than that, my breathing is doing fine. My energy is fine. My numbers are all fine. My lungs seem to be just fine! And that's a good thing. I am lucky. I know it.
And I know I'm complaining. I'm sorry. I'm so blessed, I shouldn't complain. I'm just frustrated and stressed at this moment. Need to vent a little...before my husband gets home. Ha! ;) I guess I just needed a few hours of being upset. I mean it's just scary in the midst of my heart racing. I know I'll be ok...all the docs said I'll be ok. My loving husband constantly reassures me I'll be ok. (He is so sweet... and I'm so blessed to have him.) But still, in the moment, it ain't fun. Ok. Done venting. I'm exhausted. ;)
Lord, I do trust You. I just got to get through this next hurdle...
Pray for me, please. Thank you.
Much love,
~Julie Jean
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